Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time - Movie Review

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is a film about a dagger that holds the 'sands of the gods' and can turn back time. By thirty minutes in I wish I had my own magical dagger that could have turned back time so I wouldn't be sitting through this film. The plot is simple, so simple that it's dreadfully boring. The Persian Army invades the mystical city of Alamut in which a dagger that can turn back time resides. Street urchin, Dastan (Jaky Gyllenhaal), who was adopted by the King of Persia when he was a young boy, becomes the holder of the dagger and also the key suspect when his father is murdered. On the run from his brothers and uncle Nizam (Ben Kingsley), Dastan and the beautiful princess Tamina (Gemma Arterton) find out that the entire attack on Alamut and assassination of the King was all a conspiracy set up by Nizam. Nizam wished to obtain the dagger, turn back time and have his brother killed so that he would become King and rule over the Kingdom of Persia instead. The movie's originality died within the first 30 seconds as it's opening sequence was almost mirrored to Disney's Aladdin, the rest of the film played off like Hamlet.  And then, of course, there is the screaming parallels to George W. Bush's invasion of Iraq.

The film is 2 hours long; yet the plot is so simple and predictable that the two hours stretch and feel like forever. The action sequences were cool, at first, but very quickly became very repetitive and were filled with slow-motion and stop-action camera shots that even bastardized the sell-point of the film. The scenes are over the top and ridiculous to the point where I actually found myself moaning out loud as every cliche in the book was played out. In one scene a character has had 5 metal spikes stabbed through his chest; when the camera pans over him, he is obviously dead as blood bubbles out of his mouth. Five minutes later when Dastan is in a fight that he cannot win this 'dead man' suddenly has the strength to grab a giant spike and stab it all the way through the man fighting Dastan.  In another scene Nizam is about to commit an act that could destroy the world and instead of rushing and stopping him Dastan and Princess Tamina decide to share the kiss that they kept trying to throughout the entire film. Don't get me started on the last 15 minutes as the end was the biggest cop-out I have ever seen in a film. By principal I cannot like a film that ends the same way that this film did... making everything that we have watched over the last two hours pointless... it almost made me as mad as the TV series Lost has made me.

This script was painful; as was its execution. I thought only John Cusack walked through movies without giving a damn; but now it seems as if it's the in thing to do. Yes, the action was well choreographed, the acting was obviously left on the back-burner until it was too late.  Prince of Persia was written by three veteran screenwriters; including Boaz Yakin's whose claims to fame include From Dusk til Dawn 2 and Dirty Dancing 2. I'm sure it must have been his contributions to the script that made Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time feel like a horrible sequel. The other two screenwriters have worked together before writing sub-par films like The Great Raid and The Uninvited. They are also the minds behind the upcoming Disney flick The Sorcerer's Apprentice, which after this film makes me lose faith in how that film will turn out on release.

But, for the lack of writing talent one can hope that amazing director Mike Newell could still save this film; he has, in fact, been behind the camera for film greats including: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Donnie Brasco, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Mona Lisa Smile, and has 76 directing credits to his name over the past 46 years. And while I can honestly say the film was well shot and had great moments of cinematography Newell's mind was obviously more focused on getting great fight shots and working on capturing a great set than on creating a movie with a decent plot that was actually able to captivate it's audience.  People were walking out of this film before the credits even started rolling.

Let's talk about the credits for a second. I know that this isn't going to be the case across the world; but at the Premiere - no credits were rolled. I don't know if that's the fault of the studio or the theatre; but when the film ended - no credits rolled. And I know it has nothing to do with the film; but there were hundreds of people who devoted so much time and effort to this film that even though not a lot of people stay for the credits their names still deserve the right to scroll across the big screen. I sat patiently waiting to see if they would start; after five minutes nothing had yet to roll and I slowly left the theatre. At least the credits would have been more entertaining than the actual film.

This film was dreadfully boring. It's plot nearly drifted me to sleep many times and it's acting was atrocious. Disney's live action films have been a let-down over the past few years... I can only hope that they manage a rebound with their upcoming Sorcerer's Apprentice and if not that, with Tron Legacy.

This film is definitely a skipper. Don't waste your money; go watch Shrek Forever After again or instead wait a week until something that looks like it has more promise to it like Splice or Get Him to the Greek or maybe even Killers.

1 out of 5 stars