The Sorcerer's Apprentice: Movie Review

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice reunites Jerry Bruckheimer with Nicolas Cage for the gazillionth time and I can’t say that it gets better with age. Set in present day New York, Balthazar (Nicolas Cage), a millennium old magician who apprenticed under Merlin, continues to seek out a future apprentice who will be able to defeat Merlin’s greatest threat, an evil witch named Morgana. When it appears that Balthazar has found his future apprentice in an everyday normal guy, Dave (Jay Baruchel), all hell breaks loose in the ultimate battle for good or evil all the while using New York as a backdrop for destruction. While Dave comes to terms with his new life and battling evil he must also learn how to deal in the art of love and be able to juggle both without destroying the other.

Walt Disney Pictures has a hard-on for making PG live action films which frankly suck. Don’t believe me? I’ll list a few: Pirates of the Caribbean 3, G-Force, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Alice in Wonderland, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, Race to Witch Mountain, I could go on… but you get the picture… the problem is: Walt Disney Pictures makes movies based on a formula that contain very little action, ‘witty’ dialogue which comes off as being more pretentious than actually witty, and worst of all the movies are more boring than anything. They get a slew of big name actors to walk through the film with their eyes closed and earn a big pay check just for showing up. I know a lot of people hate on Nicolas Cage a lot but I honestly like the guy; sure he’s done some crappy movies, this being one of them; but overall he’s a decent actor. Jay Baruchel has had a huge year with all the movies he’s been pumping out, and while I believe him to be a very talented actor he let his fans down with this collaboration.

Director Jon Turtelaub has worked with Nic Cage and Jerry Bruckheimer before with National Treasure 1 and 2. Both National Treasures can be considered masterpieces in comparison to The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, because at least their puzzle elements kept audiences engaged in comparison to what The Sorcerer’s Apprentice will do. I was really excited to see what Turtelaub would produce after his excellent, but under-appreciated mini-series Harper’s Island, and unfortunately it was this. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice: the cinematic version of literary drivel.

The writing was horrendous as well. Each and every choreographed movement spelled out through dialogue as well, yes Nicolas Cage we see you walking down the stairs you don’t need to tell us that you’re walking down the stairs while you do it. It’s really hard to figure out who to blame for the writing though as there were 3 screen story writers and 3 screenplay writers. I guess it’s a lie to say if you put enough monkeys in a room you can get them to write Shakespeare. Regardless these 5 (as one crossed between being a screen story writer and a screenplay writer) wrote a 100 minute snooze fest based on a single sketch from the late Disney musical film Fantasia. You know the scene I’m talking about, the one where Mickey plays with the mops and ends up flooding his master’s room? Yeah, it happens in this film too… I’d suggest you just leave it to the scene in Fantasia and skip this film.

1.5 out of 5